Get Better Today with Matt Mayberry

Emmy Nominated Poet and Multi-Platinum Songwriter IN-Q | Change Your Story, Change Your Life

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In this captivating episode, we are joined by IN-Q, an Emmy-nominated poet, multi-platinum songwriter, and author, discussing the transformative power of storytelling. IN-Q shares powerful insights on how stories can shape our personal and professional lives, the journey of becoming a world-class poet, and the significance of asking empowering questions. The conversation delves into the importance of empathy, vulnerability, and being true to oneself in crafting stories that inspire and connect. 

Discover the potent power of storytelling and how to use it to forge a path to success and fulfillment, from the depths of personal growth to the expansive realms of business leadership. IN-Q's extraordinary background and creative journey will inspire you, showcasing the magnificence of poetic expression and the vital role of narrative in our reality.

Find out why Oprah Winfrey named him one of the world's most influential thought leaders. At the end, IN-Q also performs a powerful poem emphasizing self-acceptance and the impact of self-talk, which you won't want to miss.


Watch on YouTube
https://youtu.be/qMCHBHaEra4

About IN-Q

IN-Q is an Emmy nominated poet, multi-platinum songwriter, and the best-selling author of Inquire Within. He was named to Oprah's SuperSoul list of the world's most influential thought leaders and his stand-up poetry special, IN-Q: Live at the Ace Theatre, is now streaming exclusively on Amazon Prime Video.

Connect with Matt Mayberry
https://www.mattmayberryonline.com/

I'm super excited today. We have a very fascinating and extraordinary guest joining us His name is NQ. NQ is an Emmy nominated poet, multi platinum songwriter, best selling author of the book Inquire Within. He was named to Oprah Winfrey's Super Soul list of the world's most influential thought leaders. And his stand up poetry special in queue live at the Ace Theatre is now streaming exclusively on Amazon Prime Video. In this particular interview, we talk about storytelling and how stories, Can change our lives in the world around us how business leaders can incorporate better storytelling into their organizations and the benefit of that And then also how our lives can change Based on the stories that we continually tell ourselves.

Matt:

InQ, one of the things that I, I told you before we got online here that I was, I'm just so fascinated by, you know, the work that you do now, the extraordinary ability to really tell stories and captivate audiences in so many different compelling ways. You know, and another thing that I'm truly fascinated with is excellence, but also the backstory of excellence, because everyone who's achieving excellence in their line of work, there's always a backstory of how they got to where they are, the trials and tribulations they had to overcome. I would love to start with kind of what your backstory consists of. How did you right now of what former Vice President of the United States of America, Al Gore said and described as one of the best poets of our time. What led you to this moment here right now?

IN-Q:

A lot of ups and downs, a lot of twists and turns. I'm from Santa Monica, California. My mother was a school teacher. My father was not around at all. I didn't meet him until I was 15 years old. I was always busy. Very curious about people about culture. Um, I think I always felt like I was observing my life and maybe that was because of my particular environment, my particular circumstances. So, uh, that made me curious because when you feel like you're observing your life, uh, you start asking questions when you're younger. And, uh, those questions, um, became a part of like my DNA. And so that's when people started calling me in queue, which is short for inquiry as around 15 years old. And that's when I started getting into freestyling and, uh, rapping and, um, thought I was going to do that for the rest of my life. And then when I was 19, I wound up in an open mic for poets in Los Angeles called the poetry lounge. And it turned out to be one of the biggest open mics in the nation. So we got 350 people every single week that would show up and crowd around this mic. dim light and they would listen to people pour their hearts out. It was like church without religion. And it was the first place I ever went where I saw people being vulnerable from strength and being accepted. Uh, and it was some of the best, uh, artistic, uh, MCs, poets, actors, uh, musicians that Los Angeles had to offer. Um, And I just, uh, started signing up on the list and being a part of that community and was doing my rapping acapella and people started calling it poetry. I didn't correct them. And, um, eventually I was on HBO's Deaf Poetry Jam and, you know, my team won the National Poetry Slam Championships. And one day I woke up and I was like, I think I'm more of a poet than I am an emcee. And then it took me a long time to figure out how I was going to make a living.

Matt:

Wow, that's incredible. And how long was that journey from when you first started out like rapping and songwriting to actually being a full time poet,

IN-Q:

I mean, I went to college for one year and then dropped out to pursue being an artist. So, uh, at that time I had a bunch of like interim period jobs, but I would say I started seriously writing when I was like 14. And I'm 45, so I'm a lifer. You know, I'm past 30 years of, uh, figuring out how to put my truth into rhythm and rhymes and share it with other people. I didn't start making money at it until I was probably 30. And, um, I was pretty desperate at the time because I had had a lot of success, but I couldn't figure out how to monetize it. You know, poetry is an incredible art form. Some of the best artistic experiences I've ever had as a fan was watching other poets on stage. Um, but there's not a lot of infrastructure. There's not a lot of, like, resources. There's not a direct path to success in popular culture for poets. So I ended up getting a publishing deal to write songs for a lot of pop artists because they saw my ability to put words together as a poet and they thought he might be a good lyricist and they signed me. I ended up having a lot of success doing that as a songwriter. And, um, ultimately I kind of like took that success and consciously moved back into poetry because that's the thing that lights me up.

Matt:

That's amazing. Well, as, as I kind of said here, as I was introducing you, your ability to really tell stories is extraordinary. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart, you know, I've been speaking, um, you know, for really 13 years now. And I'm always curious when I'm traveling over, you know, across the world and seeing different speakers and now poets such as yourself, you know, the, your ability though, to tell stories truly is extraordinary. And that's the one thing that really captivated me. But something you say that really sparked my interest is change your story, change your life. Can you speak more about that and dive into that a little bit? Absolutely.

IN-Q:

Yeah. We're all storytellers and the stories that we tell ourselves and other people become our lives. So change your story, change your life and change your story, change the world. Um, I think the issue is that we're often not aware of the stories that we're telling ourselves and they just repeat over and over again unconsciously. And, uh, that playing in the background tends to, uh, create or at least have you focus on the things that reaffirm that story. You know, like your beliefs become your reality. I have a line that's, you will always find the evidence for what you choose to believe. And it really doesn't matter whether you're like aware that you're choosing to believe it or you're unaware that you're choosing to believe it. It will be the foundation for your life. So part of what I do through creativity is, um, when I'm performing my own poetry, I hope that it's a mirror for other people to look into their own lives and their own stories and figure out how to tell more empowering stories. Um, and then when I'm doing these poetry workshops where I'm getting other people to explore things that are moving and meaningful to them, no matter what they're exploring, we always try to wind up in a place of infinite possibility and strength and hope. Because, um, I think that's what the world needs most right now. You know, the workshop that I did today, as I told you, was for a YPO group. And, uh, there was about 50 or 60 people in the workshop. And I was saying to them, before we started, Look, the world is really messed up right now. I don't know when people are going to hear this, but, um, there's a lot going on. And there's a lot of pain and suffering, you know, from what's happening on the macro side of things. And the wars that are going on in the Middle East. Um, but there's also like an epidemic of loneliness. You know, people are literally attached to these devices, me included. And it's incredible that we're so connected. I mean, if, if, if it wasn't for this, bro, you and I probably wouldn't be chatting because we only met so quickly, but we were able to follow each other on Instagram. And I started to see even more of the great things you're doing in the world. Now we get to dive deeper and we get to do it through this technology. So there's so much that, uh, we have gained from being able to connect like this, but we're also like lonelier than ever really isolated. You know, uh, we don't know how to like interact with other people and the world. And, um, so I said to them, all I know is that in my life when I've gone through things, Creativity is one of the best ways to bring me back into gratitude in the present moment. And so no matter what it is you write about today, we're going to celebrate you for it. And then they got up and they shared and we wound up walking away with having 50 or 60 more new poems in the world that didn't exist before the session. And, um, for that, I feel like it's an honor and a privilege to do what I do.

Matt:

Man. And that's, that's so true though, because I mean, when you think about it, so many people listen to those negative little voices in the back of their head, right? Telling them that they're not enough, telling them that, that they don't have the talent or the capability or the capacity to go after that aspiration or that dream that's deep in their heart. something that I've always believed in was, you know, you talk about change your story, change your life. It's really not about. Switching the story per se in our head, you know, because a lot of times the story that we currently have in the present moment may be negative or self diminishing. It's, it's also about, you know, how can we talk to ourselves right in a victorious way? How can we talk to ourselves like a champion? And that may sound a little bit corny, but I think at the end of the day, as a former athlete, right, of how I started my journey in my life, you know, one of the most beneficial things was not listening to that inner critic of really, it's really all about recreating our future by talking to ourselves like a champion. But in that manner in Q of changing your story, change your life. What are some of the things that you personally do, right? As the creative that you are is the great poet that you are. What are some of the tactics, the habits, the processes that you go through to really change your story that changes your outcomes?

IN-Q:

the first thing that comes to mind is, uh, other than what I do for a living, um, meditation, You know, I'm a daily meditator, and for me, meditation is kind of like, uh, a gym for letting go. You just, like, practice letting go of your thoughts and your emotions over and over and over again, and you build your muscle slowly, and then, it's not that you don't get triggered in life. You're still going to get triggered, right? But, like, um, it's less hot, you know? It's like more of a sunburn rather than like a third degree burn. Um, and so the more I have meditated, I think the more I'm able to observe myself, my thoughts, my emotions, my life. And, uh, there's more time in between the trigger and the reaction. You know, uh, responsibility is the ability to respond. And so meditation helps me to do that.

Matt:

I don't know about you, but I used to be one of those that when people would tell me they meditate or it's benefited their life in some way, I would always get out of here. You know, I moved too fast. I have too many big goals and dreams that I'm going after. But I can, I can say in my own life, one of the greatest gifts I've ever given myself is really everyday finding time for the classroom of silence, finding time for that solitude to really sit with my thoughts and, and also just giving time to do deep breathing, you know, the benefits of that I think is enormous.

IN-Q:

Yeah. I, I want to build on that. My, my buddy, Mike Posner was a singer and a, uh, uh, poet and a, uh, breathwork specialist and, uh, an Alpinist. I mean, he, he's a lot of things. We just did a, uh, kind of like a retreat that he put on that I co hosted and facilitated for in Iceland. And one of the main things that we did other than the poetry workshops and the adventures and you know, his concert and my concert was the breathwork sessions. And I totally agree with you. just breathing deeply is such a powerful way to move energy and change your state.

Matt:

man, have you done the Wim Hof breathing by chance?

IN-Q:

yeah, so that's what he got, uh, read, you know, he, he had an opportunity to, uh, go learn directly from Wim Hof. And so he's certified in his particular method and now he's going around teaching all over the country and the world. And, um, it's, Really incredible, man. And I, I've been doing that type of stuff for years. I've never taught it myself, but I definitely do it on my own. I don't think that there's a wrong way to meditate. I don't think that there's a wrong way to breathe. And I don't think there's a wrong way to do poetry.

Matt:

Absolutely. I mean, the Wim Hof breathing, I think is a very easy facilitated way to incorporate deep breath, you know, breathe breathing into your life. For me, it's provided so many benefits. So like you said, there's no right or wrong way to meditate per se, but I think finding that ability to deep breathe brings so many enormous benefits to our lives. I can't go without it now.

IN-Q:

Yeah. Do you do like a regular sessions on a daily basis or weekly basis? What's

Matt:

I do. I, so I try to do four, three to four rounds every single morning. So regardless of where I am, you know, like yourself, I travel a lot. So regardless of where I am in the world, I, you know, if I, even if I don't get a workout in, or if I arrive late, whatever that may be, I try to get three to four rounds in every single morning, regardless of what's going on in my life.

IN-Q:

that's awesome, man. Good for you.

Matt:

What is your, what is your creative process look like? I'm very curious for someone, you know, myself who is always writing speeches, uh, giving new speeches. And obviously I'm working on my, uh, you know, third book right now, which will come out next June of 2024. Um, but, but I would be very fascinated by, you know, what is that creative process for you consist of, and how do you hone that every single day?

IN-Q:

Yeah. I mean, I pay attention. To what moves me, what inspires me, what annoys me. Something that stands out in reality. Uh, something somebody says in a conversation, or something I say in response to someone in a conversation, uh, that makes me stop. And then I try to write down that thought, or that specific language. And if I start in a place that is true, the rest of the poem will almost write itself if I give it enough time and space later. I don't strategize my inspiration. I don't think, like, what does someone else want to hear, or what will the crowd respond to, or what's going on socially or politically in the world that will be a hot button issue. Instead, I just, like, think about the thing that sparks or charges me. And I trust that if I explore that breadcrumb trail, I'll be surprised at where I wind up, but it will be, um, in a place that will be interesting to me. And if it's interesting to me, it will be interesting to other people. Maybe not everyone, but enough.

Matt:

Do you just write those ideas like in your, on the phone, in your notes app in your phone or where do you keep a notebook? What, what does that process look like? Cause I know at this point it's probably gotta be habitual for you to just capture great ideas or

IN-Q:

man, that it is a part of my second nature, but I have had to hone that skill. So. of paying attention because it's so much easier to not, you know, like you think about how many times in life, anybody that's listening to this, something happens that sparks you and you go, I should do something. And then you just get fucking distracted by what's so nice. That's it. It's

Matt:

you check your phone or you're on your phone, you're on Instagram right away and you forget about it.

IN-Q:

Of course, because it's a pain in the ass to bring something into the world.

Matt:

Yep.

IN-Q:

It's hard work to create. And the inspiration doesn't care whether it comes through you or somebody else. It's independent, just kind of floats around. So if you don't grab it, somebody else will. But what's beautiful about it is, is like in that moment, you chose the inspiration and the inspiration chose you. You have a personal connection to it and it wants to come through you. Um, so, uh, yeah, I mean, I just, I try to welcome it in. I try to not push it when it's not there and whenever it comes and I create something with it, I always say thank you.

Matt:

And I, I always recommend, even if you're not an author, right? Or even if you're not a poet or a public speaker, the ability to just five minutes, 10 minutes every single day, or even every week doesn't have to be on a daily basis, you know, capturing ideas. You know, I think part of that does come from the classroom of silence, you know, that Having a meditation practice or the ability to take a walk every single day or go for run, you know, whatever that may be. But I think the ability to just capture great ideas, you know, even if you don't want to write a book, I think it's very fascinating when you actually sit down and, you know, really just capture the ideas that inspire you, that give you hope, you know, ambitions and goals and dreams that you want to go after and pursue in life. I think there's enormous, enormous and immense value to that.

IN-Q:

Yeah, I totally agree with you. And I think that people, as adults especially, stop playing. We just like get into whatever profession we have, whatever responsibilities we have, um, and we kind of begin to calcify. But like creativity is about play. Like when a musician is going to do a show, what are they doing? They're playing, you know, when you go to see the theater, you're going to a play. So that's, it's word play. Like all we're doing is actually playing until we find something that, uh, resonates, um, and tell some sort of a universal truth. So, I mean, for me, I definitely write through my phone, uh, which has been helpful. because I can jot anything down at any time. I can take chunks and move them around. I, you know, I can keep all of them in one place. So for me, that has been like an exceptional tool. But in my closet, I have hundreds of notebooks from when I was a kid. I mean, you know, just with scribbles all over them. Um, and to really piggyback on your point, um, I think that like whoever's listening to this, to Matt's, um, um, You know, previous thought. Don't try to make something great. Don't even try to make something good. Just make something true. Even if you just go like, you know, I want to make a poem, right? And it's like, well, if you just make a poem and you stare at a blank piece of paper or a note section, it's infinite possibilities. It's kind of scary, you know? If you have a canvas, Infinite possibilities. It's kind of scary. But if you think, you know, I want to forgive somebody in my life or I'm stressed out about this thing, or I want to create this dream. And then you write a poem or you paint a picture with that on your mind and heart. There is a process of transformation that takes place. You know, uh, it's moving energy. Emotion is supposed to be energy in motion. So if you don't move it, it gets trapped inside of you and becomes disease or you take it out on somebody in traffic or something like that. So pay attention to the things that move you and then move the energy through creativity so you can bring it into the world. You know, you have every right to sing as Nina Simone. You have every right to paint as Pablo Picasso. You have every right to write a poem as me. You have every right to make a speech as Matt. And, um, I think the more people that realize that they're creatives and that they're artists and that their life is their biggest art, the better.

Matt:

Absolutely. And I think it starts with kind of what we touched on here, you know, the ability to capture ideas. And I think also like the individuals that you just mentioned, you know, who are individuals of greatness and who have achieved extraordinary levels of excellence, right? I think you have to also get rid of that idea of perfectionism. You have to get rid of, you have to embrace the messy. You know, I think to start whether you're writing a book or you know, whatever that may be in your life, right? You have to fall in love with the process and get rid of the idea of perfectionism because everyone that you just mentioned They've fully embraced that idea and I think that that there's so much to that And I agree so much in q that you know, I think a lot of people may talk and tell themselves. They're not Creatives, but really they haven't given themselves a chance to be a creative and really step into that moment to create something magical

IN-Q:

totally, man. I fully agree.

Matt:

So, you know, the power of, as I kind of mentioned in the beginning, you know, like when we were in Singapore, you know, speaking at million dollar round table, one of the things that really drew me to you and then obviously doing my homework and watching a lot of your videos on YouTube and so forth is really the power of storytelling. I've always said for the longest of time that, you know, stories have an incredible ability to not only change our lives, but change our trajectory and change the world, right? Every great president, every great athlete, every great business leader, it started with a story they tell. Right? Whether it's a story about themselves, a story about their idea, their brand, or their product. you know, how can we improve our storytelling? This is not about, you know, writing your next poem, or writing your next book, or a speech. Every single, I believe every single individual has to learn the ability to story tell. Because our ability to sell ourselves, story tell ourselves, our ability, our capacity to add value for a job we may want. we have to tell our children's stories of things we want them to do and not to do and how they live their life. So how can we really improve our storytelling in Q or something that has benefited you and your ability to tell stories over time?

IN-Q:

I think it's just about, um, realizing that the picture is not the frame. You know, the, the picture is the picture. but how you see the picture is based on the momentary frame that you're putting on that situation. You know, there's a line that I have. It's it's either happening to you or it's happening for you. Only one word has changed, but it's a completely different story. And that's just an example of one way to change a small word in a situation, but then it actually could completely shift the whole picture. how you're experiencing it and then figuring out what you want to do next. So there's a lot of stories. I think, you know, it just depends upon, um, is it a disempowering story or is it an empowering story? And can you stay, can you say an empowering story whilst still being in reality, but not being delusional because I'm not like, uh, telling people to be delusional. I don't want you to like pretend. That everything is perfect all the time. That's stupid too. You see people who like, only believe in positivity and optimism and the law of attraction. And it's like, well that's just not realistic. Life can be very complicated and challenging. But uh, those challenges make us who we are. And if you look back on your life, like, I'll speak for myself, there is literally nothing that has ever happened to me that I would change. I've had things that I don't understand still, things that I went through that, uh, I've never been able to make sense out of. Um, and I know I'm saying this from a relatively, like, privileged perspective, but I've gone through a lot. And, um, what I ultimately realized is you don't have to understand something to accept it. You know, everything that I've ever gone through has made me who I am in this moment talking to you. And since I have chosen to love who I am, I wouldn't want to change any of those things because then I'm actually rejecting myself. So, you know, that that's another example of like a fundamental story. Um, and I think there's as many stories as there are people and, and probably a billion times that.

Matt:

Absolutely. But I think what you, something you said there though, is really, I think where the magic is created, at least from a storytelling ability. and that's, I think, the ability to, you know, not regret, you know, things from the past, not regret from those experience that may have hurt us or, you know, a failure we've experienced. But I really think something you said there really hinted on the ability to be vulnerable. And I think when we're talking about through the lens of storytelling, can you talk a little bit about, you know, vulnerability and how you've embraced that? Because I know that's a huge part of your work and everything that you believe. but can you talk about the, the power of vulnerability as it's connected to storytelling?

IN-Q:

Yeah. I mean, vulnerability is hard, man. It's hard. There's just no doubt about it. And I don't pretend that it's easy, but it's worth it.

Matt:

Ugh.

IN-Q:

It's so worth it to be vulnerable to your, you know, primary partner, your family, your best friends. And then you have to try to be kind and compassionate to the people that you work with, to, you know, your communities as a whole, and to strangers, people that you've never met, people that fundamentally believe different things. You know, it's like, okay. We have to try to continue to be vulnerable and tender with each other because the consequence of doing the opposite is unsustainable and you miss out on the sweetness of life when you close off your heart. You know, we did a, um, a workshop and like I said, I do this for huge corporations, companies all over the world, but I didn't start doing it for that. I started doing it for kids. Upward bound programs, libraries, you know, teenagers, you know, uh, downtown Los Angeles and an art share program. I did juvenile facilities. And last year we went to Flint, Michigan, and we did a poetry workshop in a jail. And, uh, you know, a lot of these guys were in there for very, very real things. And there was a lot of pain in the room and a lot of them are in very, very difficult situations. And they've caused a lot of pain to a lot of people in the real world. And we did this, this workshop and I was basically asking these guys to be vulnerable in an environment where vulnerability can get you hurt or killed. And I was very aware of that. And so the first thing I of course did, like is what I do in every situation is I lead by example, you know, cause if I'm asking people to be vulnerable, I have to be vulnerable first. And what I've learned is, is that when I do that, not always, But almost always people want to be vulnerable back, you know They actually want to open up and they want to connect They just don't know how and the sheriff called us up after we did that workshop and said There was no violence in the jail that night from anybody who had come to the workshop and he said that almost never happens He said we've never had a program that has come in where the result has been no violence that night And that was the most touching thing to me because I knew at least it made a momentary impact where these guys felt like they were valuable and they had an opportunity to support each other. Um, and so that's what I would say to people is vulnerability is hard, but it's worth it.

Matt:

and, and vulnerability is not a weakness. It's actually a great strength.

IN-Q:

Yes. I mean, like, sorry, go ahead, bro.

Matt:

no, go ahead.

IN-Q:

No, I was just gonna say for, for companies, it's like clear that like if they were vulnerable all the time, nothing would get done. Like I get that. But being vulnerable, none of the time doesn't work either. And when you are vulnerable, being vulnerable from a place of strength so that it's like intentional, um, and powerful and inviting, um, is, uh, is a real thing. So yeah, I totally agree with you.

Matt:

I mean, you, you see the difference though. I mean, you see the leaders that they'll try to act like everything's perfect. Everything's going according to plan. There's no problems in the world. Right. And their 2000 of their employees may be going through. You know, there may be layoffs, right? Or there may be, uh, you know, furloughs currently going on a lot of adversity and uncertainty of the future, right? But the C suite executives and the leaders of that organization, they have no empathy, right? So there is no, you know, the ability to bring vulnerability to the forefront. And you see the difference compared to a leader who does empathize with their people and then who is also able to be vulnerable. Uh, you know, I know one of the one of the very first times when I first started speaking about 13 years ago, I'll never forget. I had a mentor who at this point in my, my, my career, I was just talking about football and how football related to business. And I was talking about how great Matt Mayberry was all the accomplishments and successes. And I'll never forget, though, in queue after one event, He pulled me aside and said, not enough, Matt. And I said, what do you mean? Like, not enough. Like, I thought I just gave the greatest speech of my life for 20, 20 minutes. What do you think? Not enough. Like, what, what do you mean? He said, you're not going deep enough. You're not sharing the vulnerable truths of who made you, who you are today of the greatest, the great gifts that you can give to the audience. And he went on to go explain about sharing more of my failures and hardships as hard as that may be. is really where the lesson in gold is. And I'll never forget one week later, I gave a speech and it completely revolutionized, uh, you know, my everything from, rather than talking about how great I was, I started to talk about, you know, when I was 16 years old, uh, you know, a drug addict, almost throwing away my life, you know, getting kicked off the baseball team, which that was my best sport growing up projected MLB. I'll never forget that moment of. Talking about how great I was in all my successes to shifting that to being vulnerable as uncomfortable as it made me There's so much, so much, so much greatness within that.

IN-Q:

Yeah, I think to, to your great point too, like athletes don't often have the time or the luxury to be vulnerable because they're at war. You know, like when you're really in the trenches with the guys and you're going to battle, you know, you don't have space, right? And it's a strange analogy to people who actually. You know, do go into battle, but it's not far off. The consequences are far off, but it's not far off in terms of the energy and people that actually go to war, they can't process what they're going through while they're going through it. They'll get themselves or somebody next to them killed. And if you're in a, a real battle in a football game or whatever, you're not thinking about that stuff. You're thinking about how to reframe it and move forward. So actually athletes, I think, are some of the best storytellers in that way. Yeah. But, it does build up, right? And so, like, what your mentor was basically saying is, is now that you're sharing stuff, it's like, don't just give us all the things on your bio. You know, like, when people read my bio, I'm always in the fuckin backstage, and I'm just like, oh my god, I'm so embarrassed, you know? Because, like, they're saying, Oh, he's Emmy nominated, you know, Grammy nominated, Bob, all these things that I've done, you know, reading this list, and Oprah SuperSoul 100, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I know the thousand failures for every success I had. You know, and, and so I think your willingness to show that to people, it gives them an opportunity to not have to look up to you or down at you. They actually can look at you and then your success becomes encouraging rather than discouraging. Because sometimes people see people on stage and they're saying all this stuff and they go, man, I can't do that. That's too far away from me. But when you

Matt:

And you can't relate to them. You can't

IN-Q:

right. That's right. When you share your heart, then it makes us all lean in.

Matt:

Absolutely. Absolutely. And, speaking on this, this, you know, theme here of storytelling, what about, you know, cause there's a lot of people listening and watching this, that, who are executives, they're, they're leaders in the business world. and one of the things that I'm real big on and really help a lot of leadership teams and organizations is the ability to tell stories, right? Whether that's a change or you're going through a change or transformation. How do you tell that story to the entire workforce, whether that's 50, 000 employees, 200, 000 employees, or even five employees? You know, but one of the things that I know you do, and you kind of talked about it a little bit in the beginning, is your, your workshops, but you know, what, what advice or tactics or insights do you have for business leaders on how they can start telling better stories about their brand or a change initiative or something they have going on within their four walls of their organization?

IN-Q:

What I would say is, is that I always try to ask myself what is true for me first. So if I was to then apply that to this situation, if you have to tell a story to 500 people, you shouldn't think about what's the best story I can tell to these 500 people. You should think about what would I want to hear if I was one of these 500 people. Like, how can I present the truth in a way where I would feel inspired, but I would also feel respected, and it would encourage me to want to move forward with our collective dream and get things done. That I would understand the reality of the situation, the urgency of the situation, but I would also feel cared for and seen. And if you ask yourself that, whatever your answer is, is at least on the right track for what you should be expressing to other people. Um, and I would say the same thing for a brand that wants to express an idea to the world. I mean, a lot of times brands come to me, I think I've done like 10 or 15 brand deals over the years where I've created collaborative content on an idea that I'm interested in aligned in. Um, and one thing that I've learned is, When I'm doing something like that, the best way to do it is to think about what story, what I want to hear around this subject. And, um, if I start there, then usually it starts to unfold. There's a good saying and it's follow the path and the path will lead the way. And I think, uh, the path is your enthusiasm. So follow your enthusiasm. And your enthusiasm will take you where it wants to go.

Matt:

Love it. Absolutely love it. And for the companies and businesses that do reach out to you and a lot of the workshop, you know, engagements that you do, what does that consist of? Is there like a common theme that continually has been coming up over the past couple of years of, you know, the organizations and businesses that engage with you? You know, what are they looking for? What are their great challenges that you help them with?

IN-Q:

Yeah. You know, it was funny cause I was in Banff, Canada yesterday and I, I had a keynote in the morning and then I had a workshop in the afternoon and in the workshop in the afternoon, somebody asked, uh, specifically how I got started. And as I said, I started doing these for kids, right? I didn't think about doing them with adults or certainly not corporate audiences, but. Ultimately, I realized that they need it as much and sometimes even more. Um, and the first one that I did, they paid me, you know, a bunch of money, right? And, uh, I didn't come from money and took me a long time to make any money. And so I couldn't even believe they were giving me this amount of money. Right. And so I go do the workshop, but I did a similar type of workshop that I would have done. For like the teenagers, right? And it went really deep. Okay. And so like two months later, the CEO calls me up of the company. I won't, I won't embarrass him. He's actually an incredible guy, but, uh, he calls me up and he's like, Hey man, uh, two people quit after your workshop. So I'm like, what? And then he goes, He said, thank you so much because actually you allowed us to get rid of two people that weren't the right fit for the company so that we could find two people that are. And so I hung up and I was like, that was an incredible storytelling frame for him to look at it that way because I knew he meant it right. And I knew that it would better his company. But I also was like, that's unsustainable for me. I can't be doing these corporate workshops where people are quitting left and right. So I came up with like a different program that went deep enough, but doesn't go so deep that people are losing their employees. Right. Um, I think it's often about growth. It's about personal and collective dreams. Um, it's about personal and professional empowerment. Um, and it gives people an opportunity to connect on a deep level with themselves and other people. So it's a real team bonding experience. It's my, uh, philosophy from all of the different corporate shows that I've done over the years that most miscommunication in the workplace comes from people having lack of context to who they're even working with. They literally don't know who they're working with, Matt. And then they miscommunicate and they're not even like arguing about a shared reality because they don't know each other. So when I come in and I do these things and I create these bonds in such a short amount of time, it takes 75 minutes or 90 minutes. People can't believe how open that they feel. It causes more context, better communication, better collaboration, and ultimately better creation.

Matt:

I mean, you can't work with, you know, your colleagues or team members if you can't, if you don't know them, right? You can't connect with them if you don't know them, right? And I think even like myself, like doing, you know, there's opportunities where, you know, in the consulting side, where I'll work with an organization for a year, two year, three year, you know, period, and the team building that happens of just simply where'd you grow up? How many siblings do you have? And what is the great adversity that you had to overcome throughout the course of your life that made you who you are today? Right? That one simple exercise. I can't tell you in queue how many tears that has generated. How many, you know, just unbelievable, remarkable experiences from that one exercise and the people in the room, right? They've worked with each other for 10 or 20 years. Yeah. And they don't know the answers to those questions.

IN-Q:

Yeah.

Matt:

So I couldn't, I couldn't agree with you more.

IN-Q:

that's awesome, man. I'm glad that you do that too. And I mean, your speech did that. It opens up people's minds and opens up people's hearts and I think leaves them feeling inspired to be their best self.

Matt:

And speaking of best self, these are your words. Defining myself is like confining myself. So I undefined myself to find myself. How can others start the process of finding themselves? Thank you.

IN-Q:

Well, you just have to realize that anything that you've learned, right? is either empowering or disempowering about who you are in the world. And you, if you could learn it, you can unlearn it and you can teach yourself something different. and so it just takes, uh, attention. It takes intention. Um, and it takes exploration.

Matt:

And speaking of exploration, you know, I know one of your big inspirations and my big inspiration as well is to really dig deeper into the human experience and ask questions about, you know, themselves and the environment and really the world at large. What questions are you asking right now? Thank you.

IN-Q:

How can we just be more empathetic to each other? You know, how can we fight for the middle ground? Everybody's fighting for this side or that side. Like. Where are the people that are fighting for the middle ground? You have to fight to build a bridge. You have to fight to connect in the middle. Um, and I don't see people doing that. I see people just, you know, getting more and more isolated in their ideologies, in their silos, and attacking anybody else, and, you know, dehumanizing the other side just because they don't have the same beliefs. And it's heartbreaking, you know? So I think how can we create more empathy in the world? And, um, if you don't know what to do globally, just act locally. Just be kinder to yourself first. Be kinder to the people in your immediate circle and just try to be, do something Extraordinary today for somebody that you don't know just start some sort of a, you know, kindness chain reaction and Yeah, it's not gonna solve all of the world's problems But once again, like how do you get to the top of Everest one step at a time, right?

Matt:

one step at a time. You got to start where you are. You know, something I always say is leadership is not about your title or rank. It's about your ability to influence and impact another human being. Right. And I think, I think all of us, regardless of where we are, what we do for a living, we all have the capacity to wake up every day and really add value and make a difference in someone's life. And I think a lot of that is what you're saying right there is just start where you are

IN-Q:

Yeah, and even just like be kind to people who can't do anything for you You know, it's like that's like the measure of real integrity is like how you treat people who can't get you You Somewhere, anywhere, whatever, but what

Matt:

or applying the simple, the golden rule, right? Treat people how you want to be treated, right? I mean, just keeping that front of mind would do wonders.

IN-Q:

Yes, exactly.

Matt:

Well, thank you. This is a, you know, really been fantastic and I want to, I want to leave this here with you and you didn't know I'm doing this, right. But, do you have any, any poems or anything or final words that you want to share, something that's on your mind that's going to leave us with some inspiration to continue to go after our dreams, ambitions, and aspirations in life, anything you want to share with us,

IN-Q:

Yeah. I'll do a poem for you guys. This is a poem that's really about mental and emotional health. So I wrote this poem. I don't need to know you to be proud of you. I'm proud of you. For all you've done and all you do You Because you're trying to become a better version of you and I'm fucking proud of you. I hope this poem will empower you. I hope that you'll remember it the next time someone's doubting you. I hope that you'll remember it the next time them is you and you're doubting yourself because you have nothing else to do. Pull the voice inside aside. You're on their side. Look them in the eyes and say. Who are you to talk to you that way? You wouldn't let another person talk to you that way. So what makes you think just because it's you, it's okay? You'd probably never talk to another person that way. You'd either walk away or defend yourself if you stayed. But since you're the other person in this particular case and you can't leave yourself, you have to learn to hold space. So say, I'm proud of you. Even if it feels like it's pretend. Try talking to yourself like you're your own best friend. Try talking to yourself like the relationship could end. And the words you choose have consequence. Don't take yourself for granted just because you're always there. Celebrate yourself for always being there, always being here. Compliment the mirror. Let's be clear, self help is self care. Are you aware that your awareness and your ego are completely different things? Are you scared of the dichotomy constructing everything? Are you prepared to share the inner space without defining things? Are you attached to the illusion and the lullaby it sings? Are you distracted by the story even if it isn't true? Cause if you are, you're not alone. It happens to me too and still I'm proud to be proud of you. Woo! The infinite you, the nonspecific you, the specifically terrific you. The universal you. The perfectly imperfect you. Look at you, you eternal you. You raced against at least a hundred million sperm before becoming you and you and you. The one and only life we'll make. You have some nerve to walk around like you're some sort of mistake. You deserve to walk around like you're designed to take up space. Like you're aligned from the core inside the earth to outer space. You're a. You're a fucking miracle without a molecule to waste. You're a physical expression of fate and I relate. You're a mystical expression of fate and I relate. You're a musical, magical, beautiful, powerful individual. That's why I'm extra proud of you even when you get cynical. Remember that when times are tough. Close your eyes and hear my voice. You're a million times enough. Close your eyes and hear your voice until it's something you can trust. You're a million times enough. You're a million times enough. You're a million times enough. You're a million times enough. You are the sum of all of your experiences. You are the sum of none of your experiences. You're only you because they doubted you. You're alive. And I'm proud of you.

Matt:

You got a gift, man. You got a gift. You have an absolute gift with words, with storytelling. It's unbelievable. I know you get told that all the time, but I just I want to tell you. It's true. That's an extraordinary gift that you have

IN-Q:

Thanks, man. I really appreciate it. You know, mutual respect to you. I really enjoyed your speech and just felt your heart when you were on stage and your desire for everybody to just be themselves and upgrade simultaneously. So when I met you, I was like, all right, cool. You know, we're, we're cut from the same cloth.

Matt:

Well, thank you. I appreciate you. I appreciate you coming on, man. It's been great to talk with you and thank you so much for your gift and for everything that you do. Thanks so much for coming on.

IN-Q:

Thanks, man.

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Matt Mayberry

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